Society

A TEENAGER has reluctantly ceased loathing his parents for long enough to demand they buy him something.

A TEN-YEAR-OLD eco-warrior has been told that his concern for the environment is a passing fancy he will grow out of.  

PEOPLE who insist on leaving their living rooms exposed to passers-by have been told to stop violating their own privacy.

BRITAIN, 2067. The cities are in flames, the countryside barren and lifeless. There is no government. The UK exists in name only. Only the pensions triple lock endures.

A MAN watching pornography has been completely taken out of the whole experience by a so-called MILF who has obviously never even unfolded a pushchair.

HAVE you gone for a piss in someone’s house and discovered the room is carpeted? You should look out for these other signs that they’re a potential nutter.

THE English language is rich, varied and blessed with 4,000 passive-aggressive synonyms for the word ‘no’. These are just a few.

KIDS love weapons and inflicting harm, and the children of the 70s had less supervision than most. Luckily their weapons were far too rubbish to do any real damage. Like these. 

AFTER decades of being considered bony, unattractive monstrosities shunned by culture and society, being thin is finally back in fashion.

A CROWD of people huddled around a bonfire have realised they are staring at what warm banks will look like.