Society

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SPEND quality time with loved ones? Achieve goals that would make you proud? Or piss away the promise of these five days pointlessly? Here’s how.

FATHER Christmas has visited the naughty family on the estate to let them know of his displeasure by leaving a massive turd.

A FRESHER’S entirely new personality, developed and nurtured during his first term at university, is proving surprisingly unpopular with his hometown friends.

A MAN driving at 20mph in a 30mph zone briefly joined the ranks of tyrants and mass killers as the most loathed person on earth.

SPEND weeks agonising over £60 shoes then have to drop a grand on boiler repairs without blinking? These are the dull as f**k purchases that eat cash.

SHOPPING for your miserable adolescent who last removed their headphones in March? These five presents won’t even make a dent in their resentment.

DID you know the Welsh greet Christmas morning by opening their windows to invite the drizzle in? These bizarre Yuletide traditions come from around the UK.

A NORTHERNER from near Leeds has had his Northern credentials challenged by a colleague from Newcastle. 

MANY everyday phrases you use are, on closer inspection, just a random collection of meaningless words thrown together. Like these deeply confusing sayings.