Society

A day that made everyone bemused to be British

YESTERDAY was a day unique in our recent history. A day that cannot be matched. A day that saw the whole nation bemused to be British.

What I, a proper Briton who was in the Queue, should be allowed to do from now on vs what you should be allowed to do

I WAS there. I joined the queue, stayed in the queue and am one of the exalted. You could have made the effort but didn’t. Here’s how our rights differ going forward.

Man scared to go out

A MAN would quite like to get a breath of fresh air but is concerned that he may not be allowed to do so.

Thirteen things the twat who'd been on a gap year like, learned, man

GOING to university? You'll shortly meet the gap year student who learned obvious lessons on their travels. Julian Cook passes on life lessons.

Tomorrow a good day to be hungover

TOMORROW, a day dedicated to quiet, to the cessation of all activity and to watching people murmur on the BBC, is a perfect day to be hungover.

Why I have no choice but to join your table, by the creepy old man in the pub

GOOD evening, is this chair taken? I don't need it for my own table, I'm joining yours for the evening. Here's why.

Hipster Londoners go out to see queue

COOL Londoners have headed over to the Thames to see this queue everyone is talking about.

The Queen who walked within six feet of me when entering a building 20 years ago: a personal account

THERE was the public Queen we all knew. Then there was the real Queen, the private woman who I caught a glimpse of for eight seconds two decades ago.

How to answer your child's annoyingly difficult questions about the Queen

IN this time of national grief, some people face the additional burden of handling questions from confused infants. Here's how to answer them.  

Six entirely truthful statements the police might arrest you for making

WITH the police overreacting to the most minor anti-royal protests, it’s probably wise to watch what you say, citizen. Here are some things to avoid to be on the safe side.