Society

ONCE you couldn’t throw a brick in a playground without hitting a Jane, Gary or Dave. Later it was Kyle, Connor or Lianne. But how will the fickle wheel of nomenclature turn next? Probably with these names…

INTEREST rate rises mean boring homeowning bastards are talking about little else. Which sort of git banging on about their mortgage are you?

THE Bank of England has announced that middle class interest rates are being raised by the equivalent of 180 Gü ramekins per month.

BRITAIN has made the whiplash-inducing U-turn from dressing up as a zombie to respectfully mourning those who died for its freedom.

A MAN who has left his laddish ways behind him is teaching friends that women are more than just hot, sexy bitches.

ANNOYED about your pizza oven's expired warranty or your over-budget extension? Complain about privileged things in a self-aware way with this guide.

ABOUT to be swamped by freeloaders in fancy dress? Send trick-or-treaters fleeing in terror with these tips.

SHOPPING online is quicker and more convenient than trudging around town. Plus you'll be able to screw yourself over in these stupid ways.

SATURDAY mornings are precious oases in an otherwise cruel world. Here's how you waste this sacred time each and every week.

POLITICIANS are forever accusing each other of being from North London, and it seems to be a terrible slur. Here’s how I imagine it based on what they say.