Society

Six pathetic lies freaks tell for attention

TELL a lie big enough and people will believe it, Goebbels said, but if you tell a small, pathetic lie nobody will even bother to check.

Good thing there's a price cap, says Britain

THE UK has wiped its brow with relief that the energy price cap is keeping bill increases at an affordable level.

Six worrying signs you might be a lower middle class twat

WORRIED you might be a lower middle class arsehole without the education of the proper middle class or the life experience of the working class? Read our checklist and find out.

GCSE pass rate falls from when it was made up

THE GCSE pass rate has fallen dramatically from the last two years, when teachers made it up.

Why we're so much better off without a judicial system, by Dominic Raab

AS justice secretary, it’s my role to protect valued members of society and their second homes. This can only be achieved by scrapping justice entirely.

Six things to be staggered at the f**king cost of

EVERYTHING costs more than previously, but these six items cost more than you are capable of comprehending.

Judging women entirely by their appearance: A foolproof guide

YOU can tell all you need to know about a woman by judging her on her looks. Here Martin Bishop explains why the conclusions you come up with definitely won’t be bullshit.

The Guardian reader's guide to why he's exempt from the class war

MICK Lynch has said it’s time the working class acted in their own interests. Here Guardian reader Julian Cook agrees but says class war shouldn’t apply to him.

What to do if you don't get the grades you need, by a neurotic middle class mum

IT’S the moment every parent dreads - your child failing to get into their Oxbridge college of choice. So what do you do next? Overambitious parent Charlotte Phelps gives her advice.

Degenerate freaks without families don't deserve help, political leaders confirm

PEOPLE who are not members of ‘hard-working families’ are strange freaks of nature who do not deserve government help, all major parties have confirmed.