Society

MISSING your daily ritual of pissing off everyone on your train? Recreate it from home.

HORDES of commuters desperate to escape London before the rail strike are clinging to the last GWR Class 800 to leave King’s Cross, it has been confirmed.

THE world ending means not having to pay off your mortgage, so people are dead keen on it. But these civilisation-culminating events did f**k-all.

A FLAT you can afford with modern fittings is let down by the presence of the six other people you will be forced to share it with.

NOT sure how to celebrate your dad this Father's Day? Here are five ways to make the old man feel appreciated.

ASYLUM seekers should be grateful to be jetted off to a nice hot country with hotels so lovely they made a film about them. Gammon Wayne Hayes goes through the highlights.

WOMEN at a hen party have confirmed a real penis cannot compare to a novelty, phallic-shaped straw used to sip rosé.

PHRASES like 'OK, Boomer' are annoying but increasingly obsolete. Twats have these aggravating little phrases ready to take their place.

YOUR friend with a progressive mindset does not find the edgy joke you are laughing at very funny, actually.

A MAN’S house gained more than 80 pounds in value while he sat in it moaning about how lazy millennials are.