Columnists

A Halloween-themed cinema review by a cat.

When you've a diet that as rich and varied as mine, the bathroom can become a seething, nightmarish jungle of microscopic ghouls.

There were revolting cheese footballs, disgusting party food from Iceland as well as several Sarah Lee gateaux. It all tasted utterly dreadful, but we had so much fun.

IT was three o’clock in the morning when I heard the ominous creak of my feet on the bedroom floor.

I owe everything to a technique I refer to as "the secret bender".

I think can speak for everyone when I say "Kate, we are all sick of your skin."

Anything is possible if you're willing to fight for your dream.

In fact, the safe looking ones are full of false promises and lies.

"Mr Davros, can you lift your arm above your head?”

Julian is lucky to have a blank canvas regarding hair and I'm sure any old Ecuadorion lacky could nip to Boots for some Nice n Easy.