Sport Headlines

LIVERPOOL’S fairytale adventure in Europe was scripted by Ken Loach, the club has revealed.

ENGLISH football could soon be as impressive as everything else that is run by the government, it has emerged.

BRENDAN Rodgers has confirmed that getting beaten by Oldham was exactly what he had intended.

ANYONE pontificating on Eden Hazard will be kicked quite hard in the upper-torso, it has been confirmed.

ROBIN van Persie has confirmed he has a withered, permanently-injured version of himself in his attic.

SKEPTIC investigator James Randi has set out to disprove the magic of the FA Cup.

MARIO Balotelli last night said he was 'surprised' at Roberto Mancini's angry reaction to the bomb he planted under his car.

COMMEMORATIVE armbands worn by grieving Premier league footballers will become a permanent part of kit, under new FIFA rules.

FINANCIALLY-ASTUTE soccer star Tom Logan has confessed to a three-way romp with two excellent value call girls.