GUNNERSAURUS is struggling to complete his application for universal credit after being sacked by Arsenal yesterday.
MANCHESTER UNITED have moved to strengthen their defence by swapping Harry Maguire for an arthritic garden gnome with a glass eye.
MANCHESTER United have been awarded a further penalty in last weekend’s match against Brighton & Hove Albion.
SHOOTING grouse and stag-hunting are exceptions to the Rule of Six thanks to Conservative lawmakers, but what else?
FOOTBALL authorities have declared a supporting amnesty for the next 12 days during which fans can switch team without penalty.
NOW that coronavirus has stripped live sport from your life, how can you fill the hole where yelling at sweaty people on TV used to be? Here are five simple ways.
MICHAEL Gove has kept his position in the cabinet to punish Britain, Boris Johnson has confirmed.
THE England rugby team will intimidate the Springboks in the World Cup final by performing a terrifying tea-making ritual on the pitch.
AUSTRALIA’S Rugby World Cup exit is of no interest to its citizens who much prefer books to sport, it has been claimed.