Sport Headlines

THE FA Cup was won on Saturday.

ARSENAL should get the FA Cup without having to play in the final, according to manager Arsene Wenger.

AS the football season draws to a close, hundreds of Premier League players have taken temporary jobs in supermarkets.

PROFESSIONAL cricketers are avoiding the sport by claiming that it can’t be played in rain.

ENGLAND manager Roy Hodgson has selected a World Cup team consisting entirely of undead players.

THE Premier League title has been jointly won by every club that had the courage to sack its manager mid-season.

THE new football league structure will see established clubs playing hypothetical matches against some of Britain’s favourite fictional teams.

FOOTBALL hacks have cautioned against over-hyping James Wilson, probably the most brilliant footballer of this or any generation.

BRENDAN Rodgers has admitted that allowing his team to leave Selhurst Park after 79 minutes to avoid traffic was a mistake.

MANCHESTER City have offered two players to UEFA as office administrators, in payment for their £49m fine.