Sport Headlines

Hodgson 'has already chosen scapegoat'

ROY Hodgson has already decided who is to blame for England's World Cup exit.

Arsene Wenger focusing on Panini sticker album

ARSENAL’S manager has told the club that his World Cup 2014 Brasil sticker collection takes priority over the FA Cup and Champions League.

Stephen Hendry to go outside

SNOOKER legend Stephen Hendry has revealed plans to venture outdoors for the first time in his adult life.

United granted 'Fergie Time' season extension

MANCHESTER United have been granted six extra games after a meeting between the Referee's Association and Sir Alex Ferguson.

Mourinho to scatter beanbags on pitch

CHELSEA manager José Mourinho will place beanbags and scatter cushions on the pitch for Sunday's game against Liverpool.

Essex engage notorious bounder

ESSEX County Cricket Club have hoodwinked their rivals by engaging the services of rakish bon vivant Jesse Ryder, Esquire.

Hodgson finalises World Cup excuses formation

ENGLAND manager Roy Hodgson has settled on a first eleven excuses for failure at next year's World Cup.

Liverpool fans welcome return of utter hopelessness

SUPPORTERS have applauded Liverpool’s return to comedic woefulness following yesterday’s defeat at Hull.

Spurs to build on first 13 seconds

SPURS say they will take the positives from their unbeaten 13 seconds against Manchester City.

England collapse a relief, say fans

BEING good at cricket just felt dirty and sordid, England fans said this morning.