Sport Headlines

ZENIT St Petersburg will pose Liverpool FC a massive bigotry test, admits manager Brendan Rogers.

ONCE again Britain has huddled around its portable televisions for the sports-based prize giving. I shall attempt to summarise it thusly:

FOOTBALL business AFC Wimbledon was outperformed by a rival company with more resources and a similar name yesterday.

RICKY Ponting’s retirement has caused English cricketers to slowly unclench their buttocks.

BEING really into sport and having a personality are two quite different things, the BBC has finally realised.

JOEY Barton’s French accent could be used for riot control or the war on terror, it has emerged.

WEST Ham fans are to be subjected to cruel taunts about the apparent smallness of their genitalia.

RAFAEL Benitez will don blackface during his time at Chelsea in a bid to reduce abuse from fans and players.

CHELSEA FC has confirmed that everybody in the UK will have a chance to manage their club over the next two years.

OLYMPIC athletes are engaged in lots of sex, which they see as some sort of physical endurance challenge.