Runaway London horses desperate to carve out media career

THE Household Cavalry horses who rampaged through London are keen to turn their 15 minutes of fame into lucrative media careers.

Hoovers, postmen and oddly-shaped rocks: The terrible dangers I protect you from by barking, by your dog

IT’S a scary world out there for you humans. Luckily I’m always there to protect you with my terrifying barking abilities. Here are the threats I keep at bay every single day.

'I'll come, and I'll bring my mental dog,' says friend

A FRIEND has invited himself and, more importantly, his absolutely mental dog on the outdoor excursion you have planned this weekend.

Cat's morality deeply Old Testament

A DOMESTIC cat derives his code of ethics from the uncomplicated, wrathful God of the first half of the Bible, it has emerged.

Bitch-ass birds flying south for winter

THE more pathetic and cowardly species of birds have already started flying to warmer climes for the winter, it has emerged.

Hamster banging on about wheel PBs

A HAMSTER who is obsessed with running in his wheel will not shut up about his PBs, it has emerged.

Couple heartbroken that dog enjoyed kennels

A COUPLE are devastated that their beloved dog had a great time during his kennel stay and cannot wait to go back.

The big bastard that stares you out: House spiders rated by scariness

HOUSE spiders come in all shapes and sizes but have one common purpose, which is to scare the shit out of you. Here are the top five in descending order of fearsomeness.

Dog concerned owner doesn't turn round three times before having a shit

A DOG has expressed alarm after noticing his owner fails to do a strange little ritual before taking a shit.

The train, and other places that make seeing a dog 10x more exciting

THE only thing better than seeing a dog is seeing a dog in a place you didn’t expect so you can say to whoever you’re with: ‘Look, a dog!’ Here are the most thrilling locations.