Animals

A DOG experiencing a mid-life crisis has begun shagging his owner’s other leg to make him feel young and virile again. 

CATS have confirmed they are no closer to understanding what the phrase, 'no, that's mine' actually means.

A DOG owner is satisfied with the job she did of picking up 70 percent of a sh*t and leaving a good-sized chunk on the pavement.

A GERMAN shepherd was shocked to see the massive shit he did on his morning walk plastered all over the local Facebook community page.

DOMESTIC cats are set to provide over 50 per cent of British meals in the event of a no-deal Brexit.

BRITAIN has voted Staffordshire bull terriers their favourite dog to barely have the strength to restrain while they bark frenziedly at a stranger.

A CAT that is used as a substitute child would like to live with some humans who are not mental, he has confirmed.

SIR David Attenborough has called for new measures to protect wildlife ‘except wasps and midges who can just fuck off’.

A CAT paused a vicious fight to groom itself for some reason, according to eyewitnesses.

A CAT has very briefly considered not being an utter bastard.