Arts & Entertainment

KNOW some smug bastard who always goes to Glastonbury? You’ve probably heard them say some of these tedious things.

TEENAGERS love music that encourages them to be gloomy little self-obsessed shits. Here are some artists you should only be allowed to listen to above the age of 25.

YOU can hardly call yourself a fan of a property unless you’ve drawn your favourite characters f**king like dogs. These are the most popular pairings.

MOVIES and TV shows make certain skills look piss easy but if you actually attempted them it would be a disaster. Like these.

THINK you know the men in your life? Guess again. When left to their own devices, these are the songs they like to listen to.

SOME songs have been resurrected more times than the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. And much like the films, every new iteration is somehow shitter than the one before.

PEOPLE in the 1970s were terrible at figuring who was and was not gay despite it being really f**king obvious, historians have confirmed.

BONNIE Langford’s return to Doctor Who has sent ageing nerds into a frenzy, but the show could do better. Dad Roy Hobbs explains which former companions he lusted over should return next.

HAVE you popped on Modern Life Is Rubbish thinking it was released nine years ago? You’re very wrong. Here are some other albums that will make you feel ancient.

HOLLY Willoughby has ruined This Morning’s most stress-free show in weeks by suddenly turning to camera and telling the whole of Britain to f**k off.