Environment

Britain driving like a bellend

DRIVING like a bit of a bellend is completely acceptable at the moment, Britons have agreed.

'We will hunt you down like dogs' is new slogan of Welsh Tourism Board

THE Welsh Tourism Board has launched a new campaign warning English people that if they cross the border they will be hunted down by irate locals. 

Kids on nature walk couldn't give a shit about it

A GROUP of children on an enriching nature walk could not have given less of a shit about it, they have confirmed.

Global pandemic just the push man needed to mow the lawn

A GLOBAL pandemic locking down a third of the world’s population has finally motivated a British man to mow the lawn.

The boomer's guide to not being responsible for climate change

BABY boomer? Feel unfairly attacked by the younger generation for the state you’ve got the world in? Here’s how to how to explain it definitely wasn’t your fault.

Chlorinated chicken insists it just likes being clean

CHLORINATED chicken has protested at its demonising by the UK media, insisting there is no shame in being clean.

Month's weather to happen in an hour

THE weather for the whole of the next 30 days is to take place in a single hour this afternoon, forecasters have confirmed. 

Mum just so f**king excited about daffodils

A MOTHER is absolutely losing her sh*t at seeing daffodils blooming again, her family have confirmed.

Extreme weather ordered to stay in regions

EXTREME weather events have been ordered to concentrate on Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland where they do not mind because they are used to it. 

The selfish bastard's guide to leaving your engine running

CAN’T be bothered to turn your car engine off while your partner goes shopping for 40 minutes? Here’s how to explain why you’re being such a selfish b*stard.