Environment

You thought 2020 was bad? Highlights of the year to come

GOODBYE and good riddance 2020, but there’s no reason to believe 2021 won’t be even more of a shitstorm.

Ethical crackers 'a load of wank'

MODERN crackers that do not even contain a magic fish or plastic jumping frog are just wank, everyone has agreed.

Ways to make the most of the 43 minutes of daylight you're getting today

DO you wake up to clear blue winter skies only to find the sun’s gone by the time you’re dressed? Here’s how to make the most of your tiny slice of daylight.

UK to reintroduce wolves, wild boar and The Cheeky Girls

THE UK’s rewilding programme will reintroducing wolves, wild boar and the Romanian pop duo The Cheeky Girls to uninhabited areas. 

Everyone on country walk pissed off with everyone else on country walk

ALL the people who have headed to a local beauty spot for a countryside walk are resentfully glaring at all the other people who have done the same thing.

Driving a milk float makes you impotent: A man who knows nothing about electric cars answers your questions

PROPER cars will be illegal from 2030, and men will be forced to drive electric vehicles that shrink their genitalia. Here Nathan Muir answers your questions about how wrong this is. 

How to make everyone hate you, by Extinction Rebellion

DO you have an important point to make but want to get it across in a way that makes everyone think you’re an absolute wanker? Follow these tips.

Time altered to suit nation's several remaining milkmen and farmers

TIME has once again been altered because of about a dozen people who still deliver milk or grow things.

Who are these f**kers throwing their facemasks away in the street? An investigation

IN every city street and country lane in Britain an abandoned facemask lies dirty and forlorn. But exactly who are the twats throwing them away, and why? 

Woodland porn magazine populations facing extinction

A NEW campaign is aiming to bring back discarded pornographic magazines to Britain’s woodlands.