Health

Pay £900 on ViaGoGo: six ways to get a booster appointment

WANT your extra jab of anti-Covid juice? So does everyone else. Here’s how to secure your immunity.

'It's beginning to look a lot like lockdown' and other rewritten seasonal classics

‘PUBS are closing all around us, NHS is struggling, country walks our only recreation, happy lockdown everyone.’ And other festive favourites rewritten...

All eligible adults to throw a tantrum at booster website by the end of the month

EVERYONE over 18 has been invited to angrily go round in circles on the NHS website before 2022, it has been confirmed.

Woman seriously worried we're heading towards the return of one-way systems in shops

THE introduction of Plan B restrictions has left a woman terrified that little arrows could return to the floors of shops and supermarkets.

Travellers to UK to be quarantined until they can explain f**king why?

TRAVELLERS voluntarily arriving in the rain-lashed hellhole of Britain are to be quarantined until they explain what possessed them.

Bastard getting hotter with age

A TOTAL scumbag is defying the ageing process by getting more attractive as the years pass by, it has emerged.

Twat refusing to wear a mask on bus thinks he's Rosa Parks or something

A MAN refusing to wear a mask on a bus believes he is part of a long line of important political activists rather than an annoying prick.

Nine wildly contradictory claims about the Omicron variant

THE Omicron variant is the hot new strain of Covid sweeping the world, but what are the facts and what are their exact opposites?

Six f**king obvious questions anti-maskers really need to ask

IF wearing a mask is fascist government oppression, what is it meant to achieve? Here are the questions anti-maskers avoid asking.

Advice on booster rollout boils down to 'just f**king get it'

THE advice of scientists in regard to receiving a Covid vaccination booster can be summed up as ‘just f**king get it’.