Health

WHEN doctors prescribe fluids and rest, they mean consuming lager in a horizontal position. Not this nonsense hippies try to convince you will do a better job.

OUTRAGED NHS staff are threatening to quit after being asked to believe in the efficacy of medicine to prevent disease and illness.

A WOMAN who believes her hair will clean itself naturally is unaware that it smells disgusting.

PARANOID that everyone’s talking about you behind your back? No need to worry, they’re only whispering this...

INFECTION numbers are through the roof again, because nobody’s done any of these since Monday July 19th.

A WOMAN claiming to be tired is almost too tired to tell you how tired she is.

VACCINE sceptics are now condemning Lemsip, the popular lemon-flavoured cold and flu remedy, as government mind control.

A MAN says his colleagues do not need to worry about him coughing and sneezing in their faces, because it is just a cold and not Covid.

A PE teacher has confirmed he is fully cognisant of the fact that being paid to make kids run around a field is a piss-easy gig.

A WOMAN who has the posture of a prawn cannot find a reason for her mysteriously persistent back pain.