Health

A BORING bastard is finding not drinking or eating animal products for a month exceptionally easy because of his personal qualities.

IGNORE my millions everyone, because I’m just like you guys and definitely use the NHS all the time. Here’s my step-by-step guide to getting a GP appointment.

A LACK of ambulance drivers sounds bad, but have you considered these upsides of being dead? Here health secretary Steve Barclay lists the positives.

A MAN is sailing through January because he has decided to eat and drink whatever takes his fancy, it has emerged.

NEW Year is the time when tedious bastards decide they want to improve themselves. Here’s how to f**k it up for them.

DOES the mere suggestion that wearing a mask might stop the spread of illness send you into apoplectic paranoid fury, or are you normal? Take our quiz.

CONTRARY to popular belief, men adhere to a strictly regimented skincare routine. Learn how to follow it with this guide.

THE government refuses to accept the NHS is in crisis. Are they lying or are you being an entitled whinger for expecting hospital care after a heart attack? Find out with our quiz.

A COMPLETE bastard is still comfortably fitting into the clothes he wore before he stuffed his face during Christmas, it has been confirmed.

THE ambulance strike has forced a man to make the difficult decision to wait a day before getting so pissed he needs his stomach pumped.