War

Trump has pressed fake nuclear button CIA gave him eight times this week

DONALD Trump has pressed the large fake red button that the CIA told him would set off nuclear weapons eight times this week.

Would 21st century Britain actually beat the Nazis?

BACK in 1945 Britain beat Nazi Germany, with only nominal help from the USA and Russia. And today, there are more Britons who believe they would single-handedly defeat the Nazis then ever before. But would we?

Bring back National Service, say people who've given it f**k all thought

NATIONAL Service in the armed forces should be reinstated immediately, according to dense people who have not thought it through.

Fortune-telling fish desperately hopes its warnings are heeded this year

A FORTUNE-TELLING fish from a Christmas cracker just hopes that this year someone heeds its dire warnings of what is to come.

Woman who finishes friends' sentences on f**king thin ice

A WOMAN who finishes the ends of her friends' sentences is on fucking thin ice, it has been confirmed.

We did it for the moaning reactionary gits, say D-Day veterans

BRITISH soldiers stormed the beaches of Normandy for people who like to have a good moan about teenagers and modern life in general, they have confirmed.

Brexiters and Remainers celebrate Christmas truce with football match which then goes horribly wrong

BREXITERS and remainers set aside their differences yesterday for a festive football match which then descended into a foul mouthed argument.

Right-wing fury as Peace Prize goes to campaign to stop everyone being killed

RIGHT-wingers are furious after an organisation that wants to prevent cataclysmic violent death was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

Utter bellends reminded that being a Nazi not actually patriotic

MORONS have been reminded that Britain actually fought Nazis during the war.

Cockroaches following North Korea story with growing interest

THE NEXT dominant species on the planet is following the news from North Korea with growing interest and enthusiasm.

Please keep women out of the SAS, say men who can only read books about the SAS

WOMEN should not be allowed in the SAS, according to men who read books about the SAS and only about the SAS.

Threatening nuclear war no longer the worst thing Trump has done this week

DONALD  Trump has impressed the international community by managing to make threatening a pre-emptive nuclear strike seem comparatively reasonable.