Are you gay for special forces?

DO you like hard men a little too much? Never confusing the Spetsnaz, the SAS or US Navy SEALs? Has your interest in elite military units blossomed into something more?

'GB News platoon reporting for duty, sah'

THE bravest and doughtiest fighters of Britain are here to fight, sah! And with platoon GB News joining battle the war is as good as won.

How to imagine the most innocuous things possible are about Israel-Palestine

PARANOID lunatics are finding support for Hamas in the most innocuous places, like a totally unconnected M&S Christmas ad. If you’re mental, watch out for these things.

Richard Madeley's guide to discussing Gaza with tact and sensitivity

TOO many people just jump in with their ill-informed opinions about the Gaza conflict. Not me. Here’s how to discuss this complex issue in a way that won’t cause offence.

Israel unable to attack Hamas because BBC won't call them terrorists

ISRAEL has admitted it is unable to commit forces against Hamas because the BBC refuses to call them terrorists.

Captain Tom's generation were proud to make sacrifices so we could have luxury pools

CAPTAIN Tom’s daughter has confirmed that veterans like him fought in World War 2 so future generations could have a luxury spa and swimming pool complex.

Zelensky allowed to take whatever he likes from Warhammer shop

PRESIDENT Zelensky’s trip to London included a visit to the flagship Warhammer store where he was allowed to take whatever he wanted.

Zelensky visits frontline of UK

THE President of Ukraine is visiting the UK for a harrowing tour of what happens when a country gives up fighting.

How to survive a nuclear war, by the pub dickhead

PUTIN’S threats to unleash Armageddon don’t scare me, because nuclear war is actually very easy to survive. Here I, Wayne Hayes, pub regular and twat, explain how.

How to survive a nuclear war according to made-up films

BRITONS are well-prepared to survive a nuclear strike by Russia thanks to watching a vast number of dubious post-apocalyptic films. Here’s what we’ve learned.