War

ISRAEL has admitted it is unable to commit forces against Hamas because the BBC refuses to call them terrorists.

CAPTAIN Tom’s daughter has confirmed that veterans like him fought in World War 2 so future generations could have a luxury spa and swimming pool complex.

PRESIDENT Zelensky’s trip to London included a visit to the flagship Warhammer store where he was allowed to take whatever he wanted.

THE President of Ukraine is visiting the UK for a harrowing tour of what happens when a country gives up fighting.

PUTIN’S threats to unleash Armageddon don’t scare me, because nuclear war is actually very easy to survive. Here I, Wayne Hayes, pub regular and twat, explain how.

BRITONS are well-prepared to survive a nuclear strike by Russia thanks to watching a vast number of dubious post-apocalyptic films. Here’s what we’ve learned.

BORIS Johnson is trying to persuade Vladimir Putin to keep the invasion of Ukraine ticking over for the rest of spring and perhaps summer.

WITH his questionable threats to cut off the West’s gas supplies, Vladimir Putin seems determined to be a really shit Bond villain. Here the Russian president sets out his other not-so-diabolical schemes.

THREE prime ministers, none of whom are leading-from-the-front Boris Johnson, have met President Zelensky in Kyiv. What’s his excuse?

A BRITISH man who had always thought of the Blitz as a wonderful time that brought Britons together has confessed that footage of Ukraine has made him think again.