War

It not clear whether soldier sleeping on street undercover or just homeless

A SOLDIER sleeping rough is either deep undercover or a victim of official neglect, it has emerged. 

In case you were wondering, I’m not a f**king pacifist either, May tells Britain

THERESA May has assured Britain that she is absolutely, definitely not a pacifist.

Fat, balding office manager believes we need a good war

A GOOD solid war would do away with many of the ills of modern society, according to an 55-year-old office manager who weighs 18 stone.

Nuclear pissing contest between weird-haired f**knuts how Earth always wanted to go

THE Earth has confirmed that it always saw itself going out in an argument about penis size between two idiots with f**ked-up hair.

If you run away from our missiles you’re a terrorist, says US

ANYONE fleeing Syria because of US airstrikes is not a refugee but a terrorist, the US has confirmed.

Listening device found in tapas

A LISTENING device has been discovered hidden inside a prawn at a Spanish restaurant.

Go f**k yourselves, say experts who pointed out link between populism and war

EXPERTS who stressed the historic link between populism and the threat of war have told everyone to go fuck themselves.

Revealing Brexit plan ‘would give succour to our German foe’, warns May

DEFINING what Brexit actually means will only strengthen the forces of The Hun, Theresa May has warned.

Trident ‘only effective against Labour party’

TRIDENT is useless apart from making the Labour party look like pacifist weirdoes, one of Britain’s top generals has warned.

Chilcot takes seven years to report the absolutely f**king obvious

SIR John Chilcot has confirmed everything that absolutely everybody already knew the entire time.