Tories promise to have traditional Sunday night office dread back by February

THE horror of Sunday night is set to return under government plans to force all office workers back to their desks when the Covid vaccine becomes available.

'Mate' and four other infuriating things bosses call you

WE'RE not their pal, buddy or anything else, but bosses still insist on being massively overfamiliar. Here are some of the most annoying workplace nicknames.

Man farts his way through Zoom meeting

A MAN has spent an entire Zoom meeting with high-level executives blissfully breaking wind.

Six emails to send at 5pm on Friday for maximum damage

ARE you a workplace twat who wants to ruin people’s weekends? These emails will ensure your colleagues return on Monday stressed and unhappy.

How to bring all your workplace shit into your home

HOME used to be a nice change from the mundane grind of the office, but under lockdown we’ve lost that feeling. Do this from nine to five and bring it back.

'Where's our furlough scheme?' demand people who sell nicked stuff at car boot sales 

BRITONS who make a living selling stolen goods at car boot sales have demanded the government put them on a furlough scheme.

How to make it look like you're still working during all this

STRUGGLING to concentrate while the fate of America hangs in the balance? Here’s how to trick your boss into thinking you’re still putting in the hours, you slacker.

'Retail Jedi wanted' and six other bollocks job advert phrases 

IT’S tough finding a new job, and it’s even harder when companies sound like they’re assembling the Avengers, rather than employing a data entry assistant. These buzzwords should make you run a mile.

Woman only having baby because she hates her job

A woman is having a baby solely because her job is terrible, she has confirmed.

How to survive writing a covering letter

ARE you trying to explain your skills and experience without saying ‘just look at my f**king CV’? Here’s how to survive the ordeal of writing a covering letter.