Politics

THE Tory victory means we’ll be seeing more of Britain’s most irritating twat, Michael Gove. Here’s how to get through the difficult years ahead.

JEREMY Corbyn has announced that he and Labour are in a ‘process of reflection’ on what voters mean by telling him to ‘p*ss off’.

NIGEL Farage is a bit irrelevant now. So how can he slither back into the limelight again?

THE UK has declared a spontaneous national day off following last night’s electoral trauma.

BORIS Johnson has insisted this morning that at no point did he say he would get Brexit done.

THE UK has realised it could have had this exact same result in August 2016 and the last three-and-a-half years have been totally pointless. 

THE UK has once again decided to kick itself in the metaphorical b*llocks by electing a Conservative government. 

MILLIONS of voters have admitted they are bastards who just want money.

LABOUR leader Jeremy Corbyn has told Boris Johnson that if he strikes him down, then it is he who will truly have lost.

JEREMY Corbyn is a bad, nasty man so you no vote for him.