Sport

THE organisers of the Grand National have catapulted a horse into the side of a building to compensate for this year's lack of fatalities.

CARLISLE United has installed North Korean tactical genius Kim Jong Un as manager.

F1 BOSSES have launched an investigation after a race somehow became unfixed.

ENGLAND deliberately lost to Wales as part of a plan to boost the smaller country's morale, it has emerged.

THOUSANDS of Cheltenham attendees are discovering that horse racing is incomprehensible.

FOOTBALLERS have become sentient enough to cheat properly, it has been claimed.

MARK Hughes has defended QPR’s start to the season, saying they are technically above the top of the second division.

SPORTING icon Andrew Flintoff’s foray into boxing will be made easier by the presence of his trusty 3lb bat.

ENGLAND started their fight back against India after being released temporarily from a Derren Brown hypno-spell.