Animals Headlines

Cat staring at that part of the wall again

A CAT has been observed staring at a certain part of the wall again for reasons known only to itself.

Whale crossing ocean to mate starting to think long distance relationship not for him

A GRAY whale travelling from the east coast of Russia to Mexico in order to mate is starting to have doubts about his long distance relationship.

Dolphins that swim up to humans mostly saying 'f*ck off'

DOLPHINS swim up to humans in the sea to tell them to f*ck off, , it has been confirmed.

Five reasons why this chihuahua would be a better prime minister than Boris Johnson

1. BORIS Johnson is an untrustworthy bag of guts who feels, whereas this is a chihuahua called Ian who would not break up the UK or shout at his girlfriend.

Trump to show Boris at Crufts

DONALD Trump is to show his prize British politician at next year’s Crufts.

Dog running out of butcher's with string of sausages absolutely disgusted with himself

A DOG who has stolen another string of sausages from an unwitting butcher has admitted his life is 'out of control'.

Meditation industry in crisis as whales demand backdated royalties

MEDITATION music moguls say their companies face ruin after thousands of whales sued for backdated royalties.

Animal rights activist didn’t ask permission to film us, say salmon

SOME fish that went viral as part of an animal-rights campaign have complained about the vegans who filmed their farm without permission.

'What f**king month is it?' ask pissed-off bees

BRITAIN’S bees are in an absolutely foul mood after being woken up hideously early.

'Horses love me sitting on their back and ordering them about' claims woman

A WOMAN has claimed that horses actively enjoy carting her about for no good reason.

Look at the size of this f**king bee, say scientists

AN absolutely massive bee has been found in a remote region of Indonesia by a team of totally freaked-out entomologists.

Dog on high alert after waking itself up with own fart

A DOG has baffled itself after waking up as a result of its own fart.