Animals Headlines

Dolphins that swim up to humans mostly saying 'f*ck off'

DOLPHINS swim up to humans in the sea to tell them to f*ck off, , it has been confirmed.

Five reasons why this chihuahua would be a better prime minister than Boris Johnson

1. BORIS Johnson is an untrustworthy bag of guts who feels, whereas this is a chihuahua called Ian who would not break up the UK or shout at his girlfriend.

Trump to show Boris at Crufts

DONALD Trump is to show his prize British politician at next year’s Crufts.

Dog running out of butcher's with string of sausages absolutely disgusted with himself

A DOG who has stolen another string of sausages from an unwitting butcher has admitted his life is 'out of control'.

Meditation industry in crisis as whales demand backdated royalties

MEDITATION music moguls say their companies face ruin after thousands of whales sued for backdated royalties.

Animal rights activist didn’t ask permission to film us, say salmon

SOME fish that went viral as part of an animal-rights campaign have complained about the vegans who filmed their farm without permission.

'What f**king month is it?' ask pissed-off bees

BRITAIN’S bees are in an absolutely foul mood after being woken up hideously early.

'Horses love me sitting on their back and ordering them about' claims woman

A WOMAN has claimed that horses actively enjoy carting her about for no good reason.

Look at the size of this f**king bee, say scientists

AN absolutely massive bee has been found in a remote region of Indonesia by a team of totally freaked-out entomologists.

Dog on high alert after waking itself up with own fart

A DOG has baffled itself after waking up as a result of its own fart.

Battery farm chicken can't believe it downsized this much to live in London

A BATTERY farmed chicken that moved from its tiny, inhumane space on a poultry farm to London can't believe how much room she has given up to live in the capital.

Dogs not sure why humans are so into their turds

DOGS are confused about why humans are so into their turds, it has emerged.