Agony Aunt

Let everyone in the world know your wife's got an itchy moo-moo.

In my Brownie troupe there are 27 people called Olivia.

He should have started with jumping off my granny's garage.

Teachers don't always discuss long multiplication or the water cycle, sometimes, they like to talk about how much they'd love to sex Gary Barlow.

You can never tell if a grown-up is fibbing.

My granny's dog is naked all the time, you can see his balls and everything.

Shall I just put the thong back in her drawer and hope for the best?

Perhaps you should consider something more jolly like a ouija board session.

We can go into the garden and snigger at her frightening undergarments, and maybe have a peek at her dog Bilko's enormous testicles.

If one comes near me I'll be sure to squish it with my shoe.