Agony Aunt

ALL the adults are too busy posting socialist memes on Facebook.

WHOEVER invented work and school was a complete idiot.

CHRISTIANS must have cheerful faces full of joy, yet my recent house guest has left me with a foul grimace and a heavy heart.

Dear Holly, Can you help me come up with an insult that is more accessible to the ignorant underclasses? Yours, Boris

THE only things that properly scare me are Mister Maker's eyes and my granny's enormous pink knickers.

THEY gave me a can of fizzy pop and told me to stand with a crowd of hippies.

MY granny also thinks Daniel O'Donnell is sexy so she is clearly off her head.

MY teacher, Edwina Pringle, probably has Love Actually in her top three films.

NEWSFLASH: Maths is for losers.

"It's becoming more and more of a struggle to look at my own big smug face staring back at me."