Agony Aunt
"I just want the one, just one teeny tiny little referendum and then I swear I'll be off them for good."
MY WIFE is a miserable cow.
IF I was in charge of America I would make it compulsory for everyone to get free pick 'n' mix for life.
JUST because I slightly resemble Uncle Bulgaria doesn’t mean I’m a complete womble.
YOU'RE all worried about Trump and Brexit when the real threat is known only to us birdwatchers.
KIDS are used to being told to sod off.
I'VE NO idea about leather trousers but in our school nativity I'm sheep number seven.
THERE is no affliction which can't be cured with a Hatchimal for Christmas.
KANYE must have eaten too many fruit gums.
I REMINDED her we live in a post-truth society and she put me in detention.