Agony Aunt

'Dear Holly: How can I convince Big Theresa to give me my referendum fix?' Nicola, Edinburgh

"I just want the one, just one teeny tiny little referendum and then I swear I'll be off them for good."

Ask Holly: Sometimes I amaze myself, so why does my wife despise me?

IF I was in charge of America I would make it compulsory for everyone to get free pick 'n' mix for life.

Ask Holly: Looking like a badger entangled in a Laura Ashley sale rail doesn’t mean I’m not a leader

JUST because I slightly resemble Uncle Bulgaria doesn’t mean I’m a complete womble.

Ask Holly: An army of sparrows is plotting to overthrow the government

YOU'RE all worried about Trump and Brexit when the real threat is known only to us birdwatchers.

Ask Holly: How can I make myself stop crying?

KIDS are used to being told to sod off.

Ask Holly: What's the best way of taking off leather trousers?

I'VE NO idea about leather trousers but in our school nativity I'm sheep number seven.

Ask Holly: Whenever I try to say 'bridge' it comes out as 'buh-reeeeege'

THERE is no affliction which can't be cured with a Hatchimal for Christmas.

Ask Holly: Why can't Brits become tantric sex gods?

KANYE must have eaten too many fruit gums.

Ask Holly: Is 'up' really the only way?

I REMINDED her we live in a post-truth society and she put me in detention.