Agony Aunt

EVERYONE told me he's a dick but he's actually pretty sound and we have loads in common.

SOMETIMES small hands come in useful, for example when you are trying to pick the lock of the staffroom door.

I LOVE reality TV, especially the gritty fly-on-the-wall documentary series about a young female pig called Peppa.

DEAR Holly, I'm just perfecting my leadership manifesto, where I am going to tackle the five ills of 21st Century Britain. Yours, Jeremy Corbyn

Dear Holly, Suddenly, I find myself at rather a loose end. Any suggestions for filling the time? Yours, Sir John Chilcot

THE grown-ups have suddenly become obsessed with the news and are hogging all the devices.

LIFE would be a lot simpler if the Queen made all our decisions for us.

If Brexit happens the British people will no longer have access to Nutella or Toblerone or Ferrero Rocher, which would be nothing short of a CATASTROPHE.

HE'S nothing but a pathetic beardy ball-bag.

YOU can tell a lot about a person by rifling through their belongings.