Agony Aunt

ONCE in a while we're allowed to do empowering stuff like turn the kingdom to ice.

HAPPINESS comes from sweets and things made of plastic.

APPRENTLY hardly anyone wants to listen to me on the radio, even though I work so hard discussing pointless drivel with myself for hours.

MUMMU did some loud swearing about Sophie's mum and drank quite a lot of her own special Ribena.

BE CAREFUL picking fights with people in case they have a mentalist dad from Glasgow.

I AM going to find those French nincompoops and give them one of my shattering death stares.

I DON'T need any toys, they are soooo 20th century.

OUR school guidance counsellor, Angela, told Erica she should use art to express her feelings.

I HAVE a terrible sense of deja vu. Any idea why? Yours, Mary Berry

HE'LL stop bothering about all that magic nonsense and start a half-hearted interest in home brewing.