Arts & Entertainment

WOULD Father Christmas visit Gilead? It seems unlikely. Here are some other shows that would not suit a festive Christmas special either.

THE opening lines of Christmas carols are belted out, but after that voices quickly fade. Nobody remembers how the f**k these go.

THE cast of EastEnders have enjoyed a happy, restful and peaceful Christmas entirely free of murder, divorce, fistfights, or cancer diagnoses.

DESPITE being films for the whole family, there are plenty of Disney characters you'd do given half the chance. Here are some of their most shaggable animated hotties:

TODAY, LadBaby will beat the Beatles’ record for Christmas number ones and Britain will have to face what it has become.

VLADIMIR Putin has agreed immediately to withdraw all Russian troops from Ukraine in accordance with the wishes expressed by Kate Bush in her annual Christmas message.

CHRISTMAS is very near, which means you’ll end up being forced into at least one of these hideous activities this week.

2022 was an outstanding year for television. Apparently. You were busy with your f**king kids. Here’s what you missed because you're a moron who decided to procreate.

BEARS might be able to get by with the bare necessities, but the rest of us need money to pay for crap like bus fares and council tax. Here are the Disney songs that fail to address the grinding misery of life.

THERE’S celebrating your regional identity and there’s boring people shitless with it. These Northern bands veered well into the latter.