Arts & Entertainment

FROM slagging off your partner for watching it to staying up all night to finish the series, these are the stages of getting stupidly invested in a dreadful telly programme.

REMEMBER the adorable animals who had you pressing your nose to your TV screen as a small child? Wondering where they are now? Get ready for bad news.

BRITAIN came a proud second after Ukraine in Eurovision after being recognised as the next most f**ked country in the competition.

AN INSECURE heterosexual man is too scared to watch Eurovision because it is so camp, it has emerged.

EUROVISION is just around the corner, but how will it go down? As predictably as you expect, so like this:

TIME traveller Doctor Who has admitted he will not by swinging by America pre-1960s quite so often after he regenerates as a black man.

SOME categories of music change your life. Then there are these micro-genres which are not worth bothering your ears with.

A MAN is preparing to see the latest Marvel blockbuster by spending 96 hours rewatching previous films from the franchise.

DO you like music that’s bland and mainstream but motivates you to earn more commission? You may well be an estate agent. Here’s your ultimate playlist.

HAS your dad just spent an evening furiously reminiscing about his youth after a music documentary on BBC Four? Prepare for him to drone on about these ‘classics’.