Business

A MIDDLE-AGED man has decided that his face mask and an 8ft plastic screen are no barrier to chatting up a checkout girl in Tesco.

A WOMAN who enjoys paying extra for items that are just as good elsewhere is off to shop at Waitrose again, it has been confirmed.

CRAMMED tube trains. Five-hour daily commutes. Soaring house prices. Jobs that barely pay a living wage. If London cannot return to this, the UK is doomed.

THE end of the Argos catalogue is the end of an era for Britain. Here’s why buying the same crap from Amazon will never feel as good.

A LANDLORD has been horrified to learn that his tenants have made themselves at home in his investment property to the point of shitting in it.

LOVE that new vegan cafe or organic chocolatier? Prefer not to know these adorable independent businesses are run by insufferable privileged bastards?

DISCOUNTING something that costs £3.85 to £3.55 is not a proper discount and can Waitrose please sort it out, British shoppers have asked.

MARKS & Spencer has reported a massive spike in middle-class twats buying overpriced ready meals and bland clothing.

A MOTHER of three adult children has called them all to say the new one-way system in Next is tantamount to an authoritarian regime.

A MAN is mystified that builders have not returned his calls because he assumes they live in skips wearing filthy overalls desperate for cash-in-hand.