Business

BUYERS of the highly-anticipated Halo Reach will be served by staff trained to ask them what exactly they are doing with their lives.

A BRITISH inventor has developed an all-in-one council estate tragedy shrine that can be erected within seconds of something 'sad' happening.

IPHONE users are set to return to their usual sobbing, foetal state with the release of IOS4.1.

MINI has made its first foray into the lucrative 'crossover' market with the launch of a 115,000 tonne aircraft carrier.

SOME of Britain's biggest energy companies may be run by greedy shits, according to the industry watchdog.

BRITAIN faces several more months of inflation doing things before eventually deciding to do some other, equally interesting things, the Bank of England warned today.

TONY BLAIR was today hailed as a role model for children who want to kill thousands of people when they grow up.

SO you can ban some woman for using the wrong Nectar card while 'it' continues about its business unmolested, everyone told Sainsbury's last night.

ROCKETING petrol prices mean it is still the only thing at a service station that you can reasonably afford, according to new research.

AS the Royal Bank of Scotland unveiled half-year profits of £1.14bn, everyone in Britain said they would like their share today please thank you.