Business

CHANCELLOR George Osborne has released an utterly irresistible sofa in fawn leather with matching corner group.

BRITAIN'S mobile phone users could save hundreds of pounds by babbling shite at a calculator instead, say researchers.

A PROPOSED shake-up of the UK banking system is to make it look as if someone is doing something about it.

COCA-Cola has left the door open for Pepsi to corner the soft drinks market for sweary whore-mongers.

MARKS and Spencer is about to discover all the different words the French have for things that are shit.

GROUND-breaking budget airline Ryanair has unveiled the industry's flimsiest every bullshit excuse for a price rise.

OIL companies would never dream of doing bad things, Britain's most powerful ginger claimed last night.

PEOPLE who own private jets will face higher taxes in a bid to make the system fairer for people who just rent them.

WORLD'S worst banker Fred Goodwin hosts money orgies where he has intercourse with a series of life-size papier maché figures made from £20 notes.

THE £6.5m bonus paid to Barclays chief Bob Diamond was last night criticised by people with no real grasp of capitalism.