Business

AN Australian pensioner today declared the British government to be excellent value for money.

MOBILE phone operators have confirmed they will need more money to achieve their sole aim of bringing the whole world together.

A SHOP which sells really uncomfortable sofas for £3000 is to close down.

THE Royal Bank of Scotland has been urged to make a series of massive, insanely risky investments in a bid to boost its share price.

MARK Zuckerberg has admitted that a Facebook app automatically highlighting how hideous people are was a mistake.

APPLE fans last night welcomed the new iCloud service but said they would like a lovely box to put it in.

THE call centre bosses whose minions regularly upset your nan are still ignoring demands to destroy themselves, according to new research.

AIR passengers will have their in-flight meal choices stored on a database in a bid to catch fake vegetarians.

THE multi-billion pound collapse of the Royal Bank of Scotland can finally be blamed on a woman.

HANNIBAL Lecter used a public relations firm to mount a smear campaign against his chief rival in flesh-eating villainy, it has emerged.