Environment

THIS year has been the best smelling since global smell records began, the United Nations confirmed last night. 

THE government has unveiled ambitious plans to end Britain's dependence on foreign wind by 2020.

GORDON Brown has escalated the war on climate change after branding the plastic bag, 'the carrier of choice' for Al Qaeda and paedophiles.

MOST people are ready to tell enormous lies about the personal sacrifices they will make to halt climate change, the latest Daily Mash poll reveals.

SHOPPERS in the village of Minchinhamptonsteadbury have been forced to throw their goods home after a total ban on bags.

CHILDREN have been warned not to suck on the exhaust pipes of hybrid cars amid fears they may not be 100% safe.

AL Gore’s climate change film An Inconvenient Truth is actually bollocks, a High Court judge ruled yesterday. 

DRIVERS who can position their car in the middle of a parking space at a supermarket are sliding closer to extinction, conservationists have warned.

TORY leader David Cameron last night sought to bolster his green credentials by taking his toaster into the street and shooting it at point blank range.

BRITAIN is being urged to come together to spell out "we miss you" in letters so huge that Princess Diana will be able to read it in heaven.