Environment

Heathrow Protestors Hold Barbecue For Climate Change

CLIMATE change campaigners are to hold a week-long ‘barbecue for a cooler world’ at their Heathrow protest camp to highlight the dangers of global warming.

Giant Magnifying Glass Revealed As Cause Of Global Warming

SCIENTISTS have discovered a giant magnifying glass above the Earth which they think is the main cause of the global warming the planet is experiencing today.

'24' Recycles Plots To Cut Carbon Footprint

KIEFER Sutherland's hit show ‘24’ is to be produced using plot twists and dialogue entirely recycled from previous episodes to make it into the world’s first carbon neutral television programme.

Patrick Duffy Challenges Putin Claim To Arctic Seabed

PATRICK Duffy, the Man from Atlantis, is to launch a legal bid on behalf of millions of sea creatures to prevent a Russian takeover of the deep.

Recycling Centres To Provide 'Wife-Banks'

LOCAL authority recycling centres across the UK are to offer a drop-off service for old or faulty wives.

Smell Of Piss Removed From Trains By 2014

THE unbearable stench of stale urine will be removed from all mainline and suburban rail services by 2014, the transport secretary said yesterday.

Brown Unveils Plans For Underwater Society

PRIME minister Gordon Brown has unveiled ambitious plans to build 50,000 homes at the bottom of England's biggest lakes.

Sun 'Nothing To Do With Earth's Climate' Say Boffins

THE Sun has “no influence whatsoever” on how hot the earth is, according to a new scientific study by Glasgow’s Clyde University. 

Vegetarians' Gas Now 'Biggest Cause Of Global Warming'

VEGETARIANS are being urged to eat each other after it emerged their own gas was now the major cause of global climate change.

Brown 'Frantic With Worry' Over State Of Britain's Lawns

THE long spell of wet weather has prompted Prime Minister Gordon Brown to order a full-scale review of the nation's lawns.