Environment

CLIMATE change will transform the south east of England into a steaming jungle filled with giant snakes and marauding tribes of blood-thirsty cannibals, scientists have predicted.

BRITAIN is to build a new generation of nuclear power stations after consumers said their love of dishwashers outweighed their fear of cancer and four-headed babies. 

THIS year has been the best smelling since global smell records began, the United Nations confirmed last night. 

THE government has unveiled ambitious plans to end Britain's dependence on foreign wind by 2020.

GORDON Brown has escalated the war on climate change after branding the plastic bag, 'the carrier of choice' for Al Qaeda and paedophiles.

MOST people are ready to tell enormous lies about the personal sacrifices they will make to halt climate change, the latest Daily Mash poll reveals.

SHOPPERS in the village of Minchinhamptonsteadbury have been forced to throw their goods home after a total ban on bags.

CHILDREN have been warned not to suck on the exhaust pipes of hybrid cars amid fears they may not be 100% safe.

AL Gore’s climate change film An Inconvenient Truth is actually bollocks, a High Court judge ruled yesterday. 

DRIVERS who can position their car in the middle of a parking space at a supermarket are sliding closer to extinction, conservationists have warned.