Lifestyle

A WOMAN giving herself a motivational pep talk in the mirror has accidentally summoned Morrissey.

GLUTEN-free brownies contain the same ingredients as a bag of old, dried up compost from B&Q, it has been confirmed.

A MAN who drives a BMW is ‘sort of an okay person, once you get to know him’, it has been claimed by two people.

A 27-year-old man has unveiled a shopping basket described by witnesses as an ‘epic tragedy’.

A MAN has been declared a prick after sending the waiter away when everyone else was clearly ready to order.

A FAMILY who thought it would be fun to stay home instead of going away on holiday has admitted it was a shit idea.

A VEGETARIAN  has been worrying about whether her friends have made room on their BBQ for her ego.

A CRAP flat now looks delightful due to some clever string light placement, it has been confirmed.

WOMEN are increasingly taking responsibility for the crap activities traditionally done by men.

THE Bad Pet Awards have once again named dogs as the single worst thing anyone could possibly have.