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Science & Technology

NASA probe submits $11bn claim for ‘travel to work’ expenses

THE New Horizons probe paid for its own fuel to get to Pluto, it has emerged.

Pluto threatens to kick shit out of NASA probe

NASA’S New Horizons probe has narrowly avoided a fight with the smallest and most aggressive planet.

Secret of looking young is self-delusion

THE best way to maintain youthful looks is to live in a delusional fantasy world, it has emerged.

Monster Munch makers challenged over whether ‘Flamin’ Hot’ is actually a flavour

THE makers of Monster Munch have been told that ‘Flamin’ Hot’ is more of an abstract concept than an actual flavour.

Social media is the new CB radio, says your dad

ALL forms of internet communication will become as obsolete as saying '10-4, good buddy', your Dad has confirmed.

Britons ‘could solve logic puzzles if they wanted to’

MOST Britons could easily solve logic problems if they felt like it but have better things to do with their time.

'Highly intelligent' missile still desperate to annihilate something

A NEW 'intelligent' missile is unwilling to contemplate non-missile career options, it has emerged.

Female body hair ‘may stop women meeting twats’

FEMALE body hair is a massive turn-off for virgins, shallow narcissists and picky twats, it has emerged.

Philae was distracted by female comet landers

THE comet lander 'Philae' lost contact with Earth because it was too busy looking at lady comet landers.

Female scientists look ravishing when they take off their glasses

THERE is a striking transformation from ‘clever’ to ‘gorgeous’ whenever lady scientists take off their glasses, it has been claimed.