Society

2022 all downhill from here

2022 has passed its joyful halfway point and only gets worse from now on, everyone has realised.

Six positive things to say about women that are actually a f**king insult

WOMEN never start wars, say patronising men who believe they are being complimentary. Along with these classic generalisations about the ladies.

Are you a massive school run wanker? Take our quiz

RECKON it’s fine to park in a disabled space because you’d get a ticket for stopping right outside the gates? You could be a school run wanker. Find out here.

How to be a dick and leave a voice message

WANT to end a friendship by leaving a voice message? Do it in the most irritating way possible.

Sitting in the front seat of a taxi, and other mysterious life rules you should never break

OUR lives are full of unspoken but universally observed rules that must never be broken. Only the wilfully lawless would dare contravene these.

How to cope with wildly successful celebrities way younger than you

ARE popular, lauded and hugely famous people now a good decade younger than you? Keep telling yourself you’ve got plenty of time with these tips.

Man's gaydar so outdated it cannot detect post-2000 homosexuals

A MAN’S once-functioning gaydar is so outdated it is no longer able to detect anyone who came out post-millennium.

'Vibrant al fresco dating scene': How an estate agent will describe dogging next to your house

ESTATE agents are dutybound to polish even the most awful of turds. Here’s how they’d present these nightmare scenarios.

Blackberrys, poking, watching Lost: really-quite-recent things young people haven't heard of

YOUNG people were put on this Earth to make you feel old and irrelevant. Here are five recent things which, depressingly, will mean nothing to them.

Ever fancied driving a train? Want to drive one today? Go for it!

EVER fancied driving a train? Let us, the government, give you the chance. Don’t worry, it’s like riding a bike, except it weighs 200 tonnes and can easily cause hundreds of deaths.