Politics

THE ghost of Adolf Hitler has advised Boris Johnson that sometimes you need to know when you are beaten. 

AFTER the decision to stop customs checks on goods entering Northern Ireland, the ultra-conservative DUP has added the NI Protocol to its long list of things it does not believe in. 

YOU don’t end up with as much money as me – around £440 million, minimum – without knowing how to save it! Follow these tips to save hundreds of thousands a year: 

DO you wish you could be less charismatic and just kind of blend into the wallpaper? Master of not-making-an-impression Keir Starmer is here with some tips.

I WAS fully behind Boris and his enthusiasm for casual racism and unlawfully suspending parliament. But this party thing really makes the government look bad, so I’ve submitted my letter of no confidence.

MICHAEL Gove here. I have to admit we rushed out ‘levelling up’ without actually deciding what it was. Here’s your chance to fill in the details and win a prize that’s no doubt thrilling for Northern oiks.

I, BORIS Johnson, have vowed before the Commons and the nation to implement solutions to Sue Gray’s findings. Here they are as I understand them.

THE UK is about to learn that Boris Johnson handles full-scale war as badly as he does Brexit, pandemics and the economy.

YOU can say what you want in Parliament and they can’t touch you for it, as Boris Johnson proved when calling Labour’s front bench drug addicts.

THE f**king fools who voted for Johnson are being treated exactly like the fools he took them for, it has emerged.