Sport

CRICKET fans are threatening to rampage through Waitrose, Cath Kidston and SpaceNK wreaking havoc if England win today’s World Cup.

CRICKET: it dates back to 1598, it goes on for days and despite most of the world having no interest England still never wins.

A WOMAN is suffering the alien sensation of claiming to be very proud of a national team she is actually very, very angry with.

THE England women’s team’s progression to the semi-final is proof that men are the real victims of sexism now, according to idiots.

THE release of 2019-20’s Premier League fixtures means a Manchester United supporter can diarise when he will be a complete nightmare to be around.

A MALE football fan has read four day’s worth of coverage of the FIFA Women’s World Cup and is now an expert, he has confirmed.

A MUM can see no valid reason for spending a huge part of her life watching small children’s totally inconsequential sporting events.

A MAN who claims women’s football is slow and lacking in action also thinks men hitting tiny balls with sticks for hours is utterly fascinating.

PREMIER League chiefs have agreed that as Liverpool did so well but still did not win they can carry their points over to the following season.

LIVERPOOL’S comeback to beat Barcelona four-nil yesterday was intensely irritating for most of Britain. But was it the most irritating of all time?