Sport

THE England team has a very good chance of winning the World Cup if you have consumed enough alcohol, it has emerged.

TODAY’S World Cup opening ceremony will feature a monstrous replica of Russian president Vladimir Putin’s ‘magnificent’ penis.

TEAMMATES and fans have no issue with Harry Kane’s new tattoo commemorating England’s upcoming group stage exit, they have confirmed.

SUNDERLAND'S relegation to League One means there is a good chance they will have left the Football League before Britain leaves the EU, it has been confirmed.

ARSENAL has confirmed Arsene Wenger will officially leave the club 13 years ago.

CRICKET has been officially reclassified as one of the world’s ‘cheaty’ sports, along with cycling and sprinting.

REVELLERS at the Cheltenham Festival have complained that horses are getting in the way of their drinking.

ARE you a professional footballer who’d like to try not being a total arsehole for once? Simply follow the advice below.

SIR Bradley Wiggins has rejected claims he won the Tour de France on a handful of Purple Hearts and some Mandrax.

FINLAND'S Rinsu Skrnsson defended his Olympic title last night, taking gold in the 2x4000 Uphill Nordic Skjord.