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CAN’T afford a house? You could buy one of these boxes instead.

TAKE our test to find out if you are a cat.

WE ARE forced to wank out these articles about being millennials.

HOW well are you convincing yourself that Brexit is the greatest moment in British history? Take our test and find out.

ARE you addicted to online quizzes? Find out with this quiz.

I'LL be explaining a simple but delicious Italian dish, while tossing in the odd aside like the fact that we have a boathouse.

THIS is your chance to live in a massive steel penis like something out of a depressing science fiction film.

ONLY one group is capable of defeating terrorism - brilliant, clear-sighted columnists like me in large houses with well-equipped home offices.

TAKE our test to find out who or what you should have a war with.

TAKE our test to find out which patronising block-capitals word best describes your family.