Features

Andy Murray: Universal Soldier

IT'S time to source the kilo of weapon grade uranium that I need in my sandwich.

Who is the new Hitler?

WHICH of Europe's powerful freaks is the real heir to the Great Dictator?

Are you a racist? Take the test

TAKE our quick test to find out how much you dislike others on the basis of ethnicity.

Boudica's sideboobs of history

HISTORY is full of momentous side and underboob flashes.

Napoleon's GoPro blog

I STRUGGLED getting people to notice me until I became the owner of the GoPro GodHero VI camera system.

Chris Martin's meat dream

INSIDE your mouth is an entire black pudding supper, what witchcraft is this?

King Leonidas's trip to the soft play area

ON this day I, King Leonidas, have come to Adventure Kidz soft play complex.

The Mash guide to snake vs crocodile

A BLOW-BY-BLOW account of the reptile battle that has captivated the internet.

Simon Cowell's tips for new mothers

I BREASTFED all my children, from Harry 'Biter' Styles to Matt 'Blocked Duct' Cardle.

Winter Olympics commentary by the Marquis de Sade

THERE is so much spittle frothing around her cavernous mouth that the stone is getting confused.