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Arts & Entertainment

Nobody told us she'd be from f**king Yorkshire, say outraged Doctor Who fans

DOCTOR Who fans are furious that the latest incarnation of the character is from Yorkshire.

Could you be one of the tossers on The Apprentice?

YOU may think you’ve got the business acumen to take part in The Apprentice, but you’ll need to be a sizeable twat as well. See if you’ve got what it takes.

The best musical instruments to be a wanker with

DO you enjoy playing your music to people but never notice how hideously uncomfortable they look? Here are the best instruments for being a musical wanker.

Woman angry Bodyguard didn't include all the clever twists she thought of

A WOMAN has attacked the BBC after thriller Bodyguard left out all the clever twists she had come up with over the last week. 

32-year-old hopes he loses interest in music soon

A 32-YEAR-OLD man hopes he reaches the fabled cut-off point where you stop listening to new music soon, because he has had enough of it.

Are you a tedious superhero wanker?

DO you think superhero films are much deeper and more important than they really are? You may be a tedious fanboy. Take our test and find out.

Public urged to let Bert and Ernie come out in their own time

THE public has been told to stop pressuring Bert and Ernie to come out as gay before they are ready.

Are you watching Bodyguard or is there something wrong with you?

EVERYONE is glued to sexy thriller Bodyguard, episode five of which is shown tonight on BBC1, but what about those few malcontents and weirdos who are not watching it?

Woman covering face with hands during horror film forgot about ability to close her eyes

A WOMAN was so scared during a horror film she totally forgot she had eyelids and used her hands instead.

Father-of-two ends summer holidays knowing full catalogue of Little Mix

A FATHER of two daughters has spent the last six weeks on an in-car crash course to learn every song by Little Mix.