Arts & Entertainment

New Pixar film not teeming with truculent piss-artists

BRAVE, the new Pixar film set in Scotland, has invented a type of Scottish person which does not and will never exist.

BBC moving Salford to London

THE BBC is to put the entire Manchester district of Salford on castors and wheel it into the capital, it has emerged.

Dogs to be shot in Olympic stadium

THE opening ceremony for the Olympic games will include a pile of tractor parts and a man with large hands glaring at everyone, it has been revealed.

Adrian Mole 'goes on murder spree'

THE latest Adrian Mole book sees the main character exacting bloody revenge on the world for his years of comic misfortune, it has emerged.

Jazzy Jeff's 'Summertime' sounding like a piss take

THE classic hip hop track Summertime, which celebrates seasonal sunshine and happiness, is sounding like a cruel joke to UK radio listeners.

Shakespeare’s first theatre ‘mainly porno’

WILLIAM Shakespeare’s first theatre offered mainly low-budget hardcore sex plays, it has emerged.

Prometheus lauded by stoner critics

RIDLEY Scott’s sci-fi epic Prometheus is the greatest film ever made, leading pothead reviewers have claimed.

Moffat unveils all-nude Sherlock

THE next series of Sherlock will be filmed entirely in the nude, producer Steven Moffat has announced.

Pudsey: My winnits hell

THE winner of Britain's Got Talent has described how he overcame the nightmare of tag-ons to achieve success.

House of Pain's Everlast hoping he'll get that much attention when he dies

AMERICAN rapper Everlast, impressed with the tributes given to Beastie Boy Adam Yauch, has been obsessing about how much press he'll get when he passes on.